Why Should I?

Why Should I?
Amanda Lowitz

You know I won’t let go
You know I’ll stand there waiting
You know I still love you.

But,
I’ve been mean to you since that day
Or, at least from my point of view
You just take it and laugh
It’s not mean to you.

I’ve realized what a jerk you can be since that day
So mean to my friends
So mean to me
Why do I still love you?
You’re such a mean guy
So arrogant.

That sick joke you played
Inside joke or not
Still sick and twisted
People told you off
It wasn’t right
Especially after only a week.

Why do I still love you?
After all you’ve put me through
The distrust
The breakdowns
No communication
The breakup
Why Should I?

But I do,
Because I fell in love with the guy
That was sweet, charming, romantic, and polite
And you’re one in the same with
The one I fell in love with, and the one that’s there now.




I wrote this AWHILE ago....

Whatever happened to?

I know it's stupid to linger on it. I know it will only bring back feelings of sadness and whatever, but it makes me wonder. What ever happened to I love you, you are the best thing to ever happen to me, i will never let you go. Sure I know that those are "corny" but to me, they are so much more. I'm over him, yeah. But he will always have a place in my heart. But still, I remember all the times he told me that he loved me, all the times he told me he didn't want to leave me, all times he told me that i was the best thing to ever to happen to him. They were lies. Sure, life happens, shit happens. But, he lied to me didnt he? Telling me all those things, then going back on his word. I just don't know. I feel like all he ever told me was a lie.

End of an Era

We have to give up Hans to a rescue. We just couldn't give the poor dog what he needed. We tried but it just didn't work out. I wish we could have kept him. I love that dog, he's such a sweet thing, when he wants to be lol. It's almost like we failed him. But I know that he'll go to a good home. The lady that wants him is picking him up at 10. :(

And it's my sisters graduation. The end of one era and the beginning of another. I'll officially be a Senior when they announce that the class of 2009 has graduated. Kinda exciting/scary. I'm going to be a senior. One more year and I'm out. Beginning a new life. AAHH!!! But I'm so happy for Rachel, she survived. lol.

I'll tell you guys how it went tomorrow. I'll ttyl. <3

Thinking

Yesterday we got my car inspected, I waited with my mom for the 2 hours. In those two hours I read, thought, listened to music. Lol. I know what I was thinking about is stupid, because I should be over it, I really should be. He got over me. He told me he's over me. I asked him. And he asked me, I said maybe.. Idk if he saw through that maybe, but he said good. I don't know. I was just thinking and I do miss him. I still love him and he will always have a place in my heart. Always. I know this is stupid and mushy and all that jazz. But idk. I was just......thinking about it.

Today we were watching He's Just Not That Into You. It was good. Except for the fact that it made girls look helpless. But I liked it. If only guys signals were explained like that in the beginning lol. I wish life was like that though to. Solve all problems in an hour and a half. But life wasn't meant to be like that. It was meant to be a journey. and a journey it shall be.

Ok, so another actual real thought. My mom said that I am actually a senior on Monday the 15th. The reason, because the class of 09 just graduated. So becuase that class just graduated, the class of 2010 just got promoted. Wow. I can't beleive it. It just hasn't hit yet. It'll hit when I see my sister walk across the stage, but until then, it's kinda like....wow. you know?

So anyway, these are just random thoughts. I might add more later, but until then,, ttyl.

Hmmm...

I don't think this post is going to get a title. It's going to be a jumble of stuff thats happened to me since my last post.

So, Jesse and I finally worked out our breakup. After we were down each others throats on Facebook. But it's all good now. We're friends, and thats fine.

That weekend was a three day weekend to. So I went over Mia's on Sunday. That was awesome. I spent some time with my family on friday and saturday. Sunday was when we worked it out. I tried to stay busy though so I wouldn't mope or anything.

Last Sunday I spent like the entire day with Vicky. So in that time, I got a qoute on her twitter, flip flops, a best friend key chain, addicted to honey puffs at the Greek Festival, and made a fool of myself while watching Drag Me To Hell, oh and stopped off at her Church so she could "show me off" lol. That was an awesome day. I love Vicky to death. She is the Cure for my life.

This week hasn't been that exciting, but it's still been a great week. I broke a test tube in Chem. Score for me. Dodson deserved that lol. Oppss....hopefully he wont decide to randomly google me and find this lol.

This is like the last week that I'll REALLY see my Senior friends. It really sucks. It really hasnt hit that they will be graduating. I have a feeling it will hit when I see my sister walk across the stage. I'll finaly realize that when I go back, they won't be there. I probably start crying for my sister, and my friends. It really sucks. I'm going to miss them sooooooo much it's not even funny. THEY BETTER VISIT ME!!!!!

Oh, and on the bus yesterday, we had a substitute bus driver. Well she asked me where I wanted to be dropped off. (There's this humongous square that they have to drive around and I get dropped off at a corner by a trash can.) Well, instead of saying the next corner, I said "By the trashcan is fine." All the people that I talk to in the back started laughing so hard. I didn't realize what I said until they started laughing.

And this morning Fatima was telling the others what happened, well I asked her if Tila Tequila stumped the thrash can or the trash can stumped Tila Tequila. She said that Tila Tequila stumped the trash can.

You see, int he beginning of the year, I tried to sing a Tila Tequila song, but if you know her, you know the type opf songs. Me being to white, and singing it, yeaaaahhhhhhhh......one word. Hilarious. (at least to Fatima!)

Honestly, I don't know what else to really say. I know I'll think of more things later. And when that happens, i'll blog them. So Untill then. TTYL. <3