Monday, July 13, 2009
Also,
I've been thinking about what Jesse said when we broke up about how it didn't mean that we can't go back out in the future. I honestly don't think that we will get together. I really wish it to be true, I really do. But i don't think it will happen. He said not to lose all hope. I know I won't, I know I'll be upset if it doesn't happen, but on the other hand, I kinda don't expect it to. He doesn't really look back at the past, and I'm the past. I loved him more than he loved me to. He might still love me,
IDK. I know I will always love him. But I'm starting to doubt that we will get together in the future. I hope that we do, I will still have hope. But I won't be as
disappointed if we don't. And if we do and break up again, that would really hurt. I don't want an off again on again
relationship with him. I'm not trying to be clingy, but if I'm with him, I want to stay with him for a while. And if we break up, I'm sorry but i don't think i could go out a third time. It would kill me. He means so much to me. He doesn't even know how much. But I just don't think I could do it again. I couldn't take that pain again.
He's the guy with the saying, "You broke my heart, but I still love you with all the little pieces."
The End.
8:57 AM
This Weekend
Has been pretty great. Friday I got out of work early for a dentist appointment to get fitted for my night guard, and just relaxed.
Saturday my mom made me do the treadmill, I was a complete bitch about it though. I really didn't want to do it, nor did I think I need to, so my mom made me make breakfast for her. After that, it took me like two hours to clean my room, while talking to Jesse. But it wasn't that he was distracting me, my room was a total disaster. And I was telling him that he should get out asap!!!!!!!! of his relationship. Then we finished the flooring upstairs. It looks great! I am defiantly proud of myself with that. My mom and I did a really great job. It's a awesome loft/hangout/apartment! Then Rachel's ex boyfriend came over. That was fun. My mom and I watched Knowing. I don't know why that got panned. It was actually a pretty good movie. But then again, America is stupid. Lol. I saw VICKY!!!! And we planned on hanging out this weekend, but she said I should sleepover, well I asked my mom and she said yes. So I'm sleeping over Vicky's house Saturday. She wants to milk it for all it's worth to. She's picking me up at 10 in the morning on Saturday. I CANNOT! WAIT!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, I woke up MEGA SORE from the treadmill yesterday and my mom made me do the treadmill again. And I was a bitch again, so we aren't seeing Harry Potter opening night. IT KILLSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS see it opening night! UUUGHH!!!!! TORTURE!!!!!!! But I'll see it on Friday possibly Thursday. Ok. Fine. But after that, I was MEGA MEGA SORE. My mom said that it doesn't hurt her that much and she does the same work out, she said I was in worse shape. I don't careeee!!!!!!!!! lol. Rachel broke up with her boyfriend, he was an ass and practically cheating on her. It's hard for her, but she'll pull through. And I definitely want to hurt the guy, I have a few colorful things in mind. Lol. But I can't do them sadly. My sister and I spent all Sunday in the loft watching Disney Channel. It was awesome.
So now Monday, I'm a work, actually drinking coffee. I never do. Really sore, and tired. And thinking lol. Everyones here so yay! busy lol. Maybe. lol.
So yeah, that's about my weekend. It was pretty busy and exciting. Yay!!!
The End.
8:33 AM
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I don't know what I'd do without her
She is my bestest friend ever. And we shall stay that way forever!
Amanda:
i think i'll stay single for a long time
a really really long time
vicksterr,:
haha, and then you'll meet a sexy danielle radcliff rpattz man and will fall in love and live happily ever after
PMAmanda:
ahahahahahha. yup yup
with the body of zach efron
PMvicksterr,:
i'd marry rpattz.
even if he doesn't bathe.
i'd marry that
9:55 PMAmanda:
and id get daniel, even if he acted like a horses lover
and then our husbands would already be friends
and we are best friends
and wed raise our kids together!
itd be perfect lol!
9:57 PMvicksterr,:
and then our children would get married and we'll be in the SAME FAMILY
life would be good
PMAmanda:
seriously good!
itd be the perfect ending
PMvicksterr,:
haha, and we'd be neighbors.
life would be good.
PMAmanda:
ahaha. wed like go over each others house for breakfast everyday.
Mvicksterr,:
and slumber parties when we are like 60.
PMAmanda:
and still do everything the same.
PMvicksterr,:
hahaha. life is good.
PMAmanda:
wed like take vacas together
ahahahaha the best life
PMvicksterr,:
to new zealand because we were rich and we could
PMAmanda:
and to europe cause were rich and our husbands have dual citizen ship
PMvicksterr,:
and i'd get a chin reduction.
:D
and plastic surgery so i don't have to diet.
why because i am lazy.
PMAmanda:
ahaha. and id lipo my thighs
PMvicksterr,:
i'm have the fat from my thighs put into my toosh
i'd have a bootay!
PMAmanda:
thats what id do to!
PMvicksterr,:
:DDDD
what the?
D: face!
PMAmanda:
:D
PMvicksterr,:
*D
PMAmanda:
D:
PMvicksterr,:
8D ahhhh
PMAmanda:
:P
ahaha
:/
vicksterr,:
i hate preset smilies
[insert code here]
PMAmanda:
me to
PMvicksterr,:
whoaaaa what's tha
PMAmanda:
they are always so ugly
Mvicksterr,:
?@1
I LOVE THIS SONG
The End.
10:45 PM
We learned,
today, that my mom's friend Tracy died on the second. They have been trying to call us since then but because we didn't have a working phone until recently, they couldnt reach us. It was so sad, so sudden, so young. My mom is pretty upset. I am to. I know her son pretty well, he used to have a major crush on me lol. But we were pretty good friends. I'm so sorry for him. He's only 18, and she was only 50. It was such a shock to us.
I kinda feel, well IDK. I think honestly I'm having an overload of emotions. The five I feel the most right now, Sleepiness, sadness, loneliness, shock, compassion. Idk. I think that maybe I'm feeling too much that I feel sort of.....void, empty. Lol, i know one of my friends would say that this is why they hate emotions, but sometimes its good to get an overload. I have them once in a while. Im not myself during that time, but it sort of.....realigns me i guess. Idk. Right now, maybe I just need sleep, and to cry. I really feel like crying. But I can't lol. Pathetic right?
And I want to tell something to someone, but I can't. It'd be worthless to try. It's not like they feel it back. It'd be unrequitted. So it's stupid to even mention it, even if it might be a burden off my chest. I can't tell them. I can't tell them the thing that I feel they should know.
The End.
9:08 PM
Realizations, OK, fine only one
So this morning I weighed myself. Second time in a row. I looked at the scale and saw that i actually lost some weight that I had previously gained. I was actually upset about that. I mean I'm not as self concious as I was before. I'm not scared to gain weight, well up to a certain amount. Right now I weigh about 140. I used to weigh 136. I woulnd't mind going to 150. But it got me that I was actually upset about LOSING weight, not GAINING it. I think subconsiously I was gaining to, well, get someone intrested. I won't name, but yeah. I was gaining to get the attention of a guy. How stupid can I be. And i didnt realize this until I thought about it in the shower. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid Amanda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I went out on another date with this guy. We went to the concerts in my neigborhood. It was nice actually. I was happy that none of my nosey neighbors came up to us. But, anyway. It was nice. I felt a little weird but okay. But at the end of the night, we did a really small kiss. And I tell you, I didn't feel anything. Shut up, I am a romantic. But I just didnt FEEL anything you know? Like when I kissed Jesse, it was like, butterflies, fireworks. I just FELT something. This guy, nothing. Even though it was the smallest peck i the world lol. I kinda dread it. IDK> I think I really do need to cut it off. For me, it just isn't working. IDK......uuugggghhhh.....
Well, on another note, my sister's bf is coming over on Saturday for Dinner. That should be interesting. LOL!!!!!
The End.
7:43 AM
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Twitter?
Honestly I don't get the whole big deal about Twitter? It just looks like a bunch of status updates, nothing interesting. But whatever floats your boat. I like my blog. I'll keep my blog. Maybe I'll get a Twitter, when I absolutely have to. Vicky has a Twitter, I like reading hers, but i wouldn't get one myself.
So we found out that the "leak" in our driveway was because Rachel kept the hose water on, stupid right? My mom is waiting for it to completely dry up before she cancels the appointment we had with somebody for it lol.
My back hurts and I'm freaking tired. All I want to do is sleep, sadly lol. But the weird thing is, I can't get to sleep at night, for the past week it's hard for me to fall asleep. I have no clue why either. It's really annoying. All I want is sleep, and it isn't happening. Maybe I will exercise before bed, that will help me sleep i guess. Ugh.
I have to leave work early for a dentist appointment on Friday. Night guard fitting, and no, the night guard that I'm getting will look like the invisaline braces. I need it because apparently I grind my teeth in my sleep and they are getting as flat as pancakes. I still need to straighten my teeth to. I had braces for 4 years about, and my teeth still aren't that straight. I sucked my thumb until I was 12 lol.
Hmm...that gives me an idea for a new post, my fears lol.
well, I shall leave you with Check yes Juliet.
check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
wishing, wanting
yours for the taking
just sneak out
and don't tell a soul goodbye
check yes Juliet
here's the countdown
3...2...1... now fall in my arms
now they can change the locks
don't let them change your mind
If any guy ever sang that to me, I think I'd melt.
The End.
5:47 PM
Suprising,
They didn't murder 10 Things I hate About You too Badly. It was actually pretty good. So I saw that last night, I'll watch the next episode on the 14th. While I was watching that, my mom and sister were using the new exercising machine. I don't want to use that. I don't thnk I need to.
So, I'm at work now, nobody's here right now. The City Manager is in the City Center Office today so it should be pretty quite. Yay! lol.
I get to hang out with Vicky next weekend. She will be TAKEN! by me. That should be mega fun! :)
Hmmm......we just have to figure out what to do....hhhhhmmmmmm.......we'll figure it out lol! Yay! So excited to get to hang with her. FINALLY!!!!
The End.
7:48 AM
